Panic always sets in when I think I'm behind in my life. Whether in my studies, my fitness, my financial situation. While this is most likely the cause of an innate competitiveness as stated by the renown psychologist Leon Festinger who claimed that our desire to compare was simply human nature by using objectives such as height, age and weight to understand where we fit in the social ladder. Yet we can all admit that while it seems inevitable that we will all experience this at some point, I have recently been attempting to question the doubts that have been holding me down.
In all honesty, I like being the best at whatever I'm doing (who doesn't), yet this recently has developed into an overwhelming and relentless mindset that makes me doubt myself at even the slightest chance of not being on the same level as the people around me. An example of this happened at a garden party that I attended a week ago:
I begin my course to study Journalism at Newcastle in September after taking a gap year, as does my friend. As we were talking in a group about how excited we were to begin our next journey, it came to light that my friend had been headhunted to write articles for a website. The Panic. The anxiety. The comparing began. I fully interrogated said person and it has played on my mind ever since. I expressed my worry to others, whom told me to relax as I hadn't even began my course yet! I laughed it off (secretly sinking deeper into despair).
A week after said event, I had pulled the internet apart on the look out for opportunities such as his. Nothing. So i simply began my own endeavour, this blog.
I have been comparing myself in every aspect of life, since I was 5 year olds. With today's society so heavily embedded with beautiful lifestyles and opportunities to compare yourself readily at the click of a button, it has become vital to acknowledge that essentially we are the only people that can get ourselves ahead in life.
So here I am, attempting to get ahead.
Hopefully I'm not the only who feels dragged behind in life sometimes!