Well it's only my second post and first day going live with my blog! I was very unsure even while setting up and perfecting my page, yet when I clicked publish the anticipation became a mixed bag of excitement along with a strong sense of achievement. I had pursued what I had wanted to do for a long time. However, after printing my website name onto my Instagram, that bag of emotion became heavier with embarrassment. I felt (and still do) an overwhelming anxiety that people I know may consider my blog something lame, boring, geeky or 'try-hard'.
Now I have been through this before in many aspects of my life, as I'm sure those reading have as well. You want to do something, however a desire to be accepted holds you down, back and sideways. It could be that you want to wear a pair of shoes you think maybe be considered 'out-there' or clunky (still love my brogues however), or you don't actually feel like drinking on that night out, but for the sake of fitting still end up with a hangover the next day.
At 19, as a girl who has had her fair share of judgements, I thought I had overcome this undeniable anchor of self-doubt and social anxiety surrounding being 'cool'. But I don't believe I ever will do. Possibly the only way to 'overcome' this emotion is to simply go against it. Wear those shoes, drink that lemonade and be able to function the next day, or publish a blog that may sink or swim. Whatever 'un-cool' unique goal or style you'd love to pursue, you have to try and hold your head up high and achieve it, no matter what anybody thinks. I've thought that
Many of my friends consistently ask whether they should post a photo on Instagram or whether they look 'geeky' or they're 'trying too hard'. Unfortunately, the culture we're involved heavily resolves around an image of what 'cool' means. Yet, people who are described as 'legends'; (David Bowie, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Martin Luther King JR, Mother Teresa), all in some way or another have gone against the tide, sailed their own boat and stood up for who they wanted to be and what they believed in. They are the definition of 'cool', not the Nike trainers the 'it boy' is wearing.
Think of it like this: Many people only criticise you're achievements or image if they themselves are too afraid to challenge the social boundaries of 'cool'. Basically you're bravery and confidence imitates them. So, if anybody is judging my passion for writing a blog, go ahead...your trainers aren't cool anyway.
Let me know what you think by commenting or emailing me. Stay Cool!