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Losing friendships is a natural occurrence

Children are brought up to think love, friendships and family life are inevitable and irrevocable. When I began maturing the reality of this rapidly changed, largely not helped by the downward spiral of puberty, yet this reality is unfortunately more accurate. Friendships and family life are damn hard work to maintain, despite the glamorous image of a perfect friendship group we are all ingrained with.

The notion of life-long friendships are appealing and dream- like but very rare and only on occasion have I come across a friendship that has lasted since early childhood. I myself have lost friendships that I believed would continue at least until I got married (I now feel in desperate need of future bridesmaids), however the pessimistic reality is that these relationships seem to only ever occur in movies and books. Arguably I'm just being negative and possibly you know many people who used to play with dolls and are now actually at a mother's meeting together.

From my own experience however, friends grow up into different people and for various reasons simply stop being friends. No argument or rumour, they just stop. Which is the most heartbreaking and confusing way for it to go, as there's no one to blame for the loss of your connection.

When I left school, I was convinced that while I was taking a gap year and travelling to Australia for 6 months, my closest friends would continue to be just that. The determination to stay in contact was rife for 4 months, but then the topics of conversation got smaller, until we were stuck in the 'acquaintance' zone of small talk. Eventually those ended as well, until I was left with friendships I truly felt could stand the test of time and age.

Possibly, the largest dissapearence of friendships occur after school, around 18, when people actually begin to exist as themselves. School holds a bubble of a make believe social hierarchy which constricts people into being a certain way. When this is taken away, you can choose who you'd like to spend time with and so ties are ruthlessly cut, and (most) people move on from that small bubble.



Much for the wine and people present at this party!

Therefore, perhaps losing some friendships along the way that were hard work to maintain isn't such a bad thing. It means you can expand your pond of people into a sea. It means you interact with new personalities and bounce off different experiences with them. So keep friendships that aren't hard work, be open to meeting and mixing with others, because school 'groups' really don't mean anything when you're in the real world.

Much love to all those who continue to be magical friends and before you even ask, yes I'll consider you for a bridesmaid position.


Any thoughts? Comment!


#wineandfriends

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